i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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