Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
