I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
