Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think my fart just growled at me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
