I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm too high and old for this...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
