Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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