Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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