Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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