The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
