I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
