Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
