so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
