Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
