How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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