We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
