I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize