i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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