But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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