It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
