Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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