Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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