i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
