she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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