why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i would punch a child for taco bell
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
