Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize