Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
