A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize