the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My vagina is officially offended.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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