people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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