Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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