grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
