the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Randomize
