Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
