u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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