how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
