So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
