there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
vagina is talking i cant
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
