Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
