I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
