and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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