Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
