Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
