It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
