She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
