i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
