WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
