Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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