She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
