Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I want a musical about memes.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
