it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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