Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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