I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
