i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
