we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
