If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
