Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
