he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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