You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
3 2 1 whiskey
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
