I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
