he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
