If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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