I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
