the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
