What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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